 This is going to sound harsh, but im afraid it has to in order to sink in.There is a massive, huge, never ending shortage of help right now for people suffering or living with mental health disorders, depression, PTSD, depression caused by illness, and depression of carers who are never endingly put in charge of dealing with an unwell partner, parent or child all because of NHS cuts in mental health services, wellfare, benefits, services, protecting vulnerable adults and so on.
Some people are luckier than others in that they can work out why the Mental Health Services are treating them badly, they can see why its not them that is in the wrong that it is not them who are unworthy of help but for some this is not the case. Some people see Suicide attempts as a cry for help and some as a way out of their continued torture, the problem is, I reckon if everyone just hung on in there for a while longer, it may be a month, two months, two years, 12 yrs their contribution to themselves and their community could end up with them living a happier life. At one point the only reason I kept on was because of the ability to help others. I read a scroll by the Dalai Lama about having a precious human life and how if I couldnt be happy for myself how maybe I could use what I have to help other people be happy instead. I still have depression but at least now I feel useful. However with most things, there is a roulette of chance, one day it might go wrong, like I think it did for Robin Williams I dont think he really wanted to die, I think he made a last ditch attempt to have the decision made for him by a higher power whether he lived or died and unfortunately his roulette wheel spun a black. This week I have had more problems with Mental Health services not providing care, not admitting to mis diagnosis and not helping me when i needed it and it lead me to write this post so others dont feel alone, its not personal its happening to everyone. Please do not let the treatment of mental health services make you feel worse. You can always contact SEAP Mental Health Advocacy or MIND charity and ask for help. SEAP can help you liase with the mental health services to get your voice heard. Just google them for info. Suicide is about prevention, its not about "smoothing over the lines" when its over, because when its over, it really is over, there is no coming back from suicide. There is no second chance, no "lets see if this works", its final its the end. All I will ask is that if you know someone at risk, talk to them, go around their house even if they dont want you to. Sit with them, help them sleep, talk to them when they want to talk and let them be silent when they need to. Watch a film with them, distract them from suicide, try to get them to eat, try to get them to drink some water, even if only a little. Time is all it takes, if someone has been drinking alcohol there is absolutely no point in talking to them on the phone, you need to get there in person or get a neighbor to go round. If they have taken medication get the paramedics around to check their blood or call an ambulance. Its only a matter of time before they will mix up the wrong potion of pills or alcohol and maybe they didn't really want to die. So PREVENTION please please friends stick together and help prevent rather than react. This will save lives. I urge you to GOOGLE Mental Health Help, Saneline, MIND, Time to Change, and SEAP speak to people and ask for help. Samaritans are good too.  So, how do we do this ?
This post has come out of an event I attended today. In respect of the whole idea of the event I will not give information as to the details but I will say how difficult it was for me as a person with Aspergers, an Autism Spectrum Disorder and how difficult it was for me to communicate my needs and be taken seriously. As a result of not being listened to I had to leave and this is not fair on a disabled person who to come out of their cave in the first place and do something that is terribly frightening to them only to be forced back in by people who dont care is beyond belief. We need to stop this ignorance and when a person with disabilities communicates their needs not to 1, but 2 people it needs to be listened to. A person with aspergers or an autistic spectrum disorder is severely affected by the light / colours / flashing stuff / heat or cold / new people, and noise. One or two of these things at once and we can handle it, if we prepare we can do it even better, the more we visualise and the more we know about the situation we are going into the better we function. I went into the situation knowing the place (id google mapped it) the area (i used to work there) and the people, i even knew the process that the day would take and i went with a freind, however. .... When i arrived i was split up from my freind, i was put at a table with direct sunlight and along with the noise this lead me to overload. However just before overload, I asked 2 seperate people to please move me out of the direct sunglight, one said no, and the other didnt really listen to me and just moved my chair slightly. So as it turned out I lasted 5 minutes, had nothing to eat and left in a frazzld state. Only to bump into the manager of the hotel who was completly arrogant and totally not disabled freindly. So ive missed a great day and feel sad. So how do we overcome this ? I prepared, I told, I asked for help but I wasnt listened to ? So what is the answer ...... Im asking as I need to know so that I can look at putting together some kind of course in communication for disabled people in Cornwall to get the help they need when mixing within the NT world. please reply to claire@sunshineandshowers.co.uk  Well so far over the last ten years personally ive seen and been treated by about 50 different specialists, hospitals, psychiatrists, psychotherapists and of course the happy pill popper the GP.
Ive been told to take pills, not to take pills, to exercise and not to exercise, ive been told I have one diagnosis then been undiagnosed and now I have another which they cant decide if its Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue or ME. Due to a third psych assessment with a second mental health team I no longer have bipolar and im labelled as emotionally unstable instead ?*&>? Most of you who know me will know why these labels have been given and will probably disagree with the emotionally unstable one due to knowing why I got to this point in my life which was through severe and long term domestic abuse and violence. All hidden of course, because who's gonna admit to being beaten up and spit on behind closed doors, especially to authoritative scary mental health people like the GP/Psych etc. In fact who admits any kind of fear to a complete stranger ? So each specialist saw a small slice of me depending on which way I was self medicating from all the trauma, how low or fearful I was from domestic abuse and diagnosed accordingly. So how does one diagnose properly ? Does diagnosis help or hinder ? And should we just come back to who we are and work on ourselves without accepting others opinions ? Should we research our own symptoms and make our own minds up ? At the end of the day when it is mental health related its a minefield and nobody ever spends enough time getting to know the patient. The mental health services have pathways & processes, they discharge too soon and most of their systems don't work as no one person is the same, the staff are really battling very high work loads and I think no promises of help is better than false promises ? My personal experience of the mental health services is that they kept me in a place of fear and kept the cycle of abuse in motion by offering to help me then not even calling me back when I did need help. One day the care manager even put the phone down on me at 5 minutes to 5 on a Friday afternoon telling me that I was "making her life difficult" when I called back to beg for help the phones had turned over to out of hours, needless to say by Monday I was being stitched back up by A & E. Ive written this as last week I saw one GP who told me to up my meds, (Amitriptalyne for fibro pain, Naproxen for pain, Zopiclone for sleep and lorazepam for anxiety/panic attacks) this week the same surgery and different GP told me to stop taking the meds at all, for the last 3 years the GP has been trying to get me on Lithium for a disorder called bipolar which I have now had re categorized as PTSD / ME/Fibromyalgia and Emotionally unstable due to trauma. So this has left me with a dilemma, the GP now ignores my physical symptoms and puts it down to my mental illness, the PTSD. The mental health services have labelled me difficult and have told me that It is "their clinical decision" that I need to get over my problems of dealing with the horrible, obnoxious CPN (community psychiatric nurse) I have been assigned and just accept it. I told them that is is my own "clinical decision" not to work with such an arse which is not therapeutic to my continued care needs and thats where I am now. So this week I went to the chiropractor and the dentist instead and Im feeling much more listened to. Which begs the question, when dealing with mental health is diagnosis a good thing or a really bad thing ? Comments please, very welcome to share your story ... Claire Jones Founder Sunshine and Showers.  There is a well known phrase by Benjamin Franklin that says if You Fail to Plan then You are really planning to Fail. This can be very true and something with thanks to a course I recently attended I have been reminded of.
Very often each day we plan so many things and we only get half of them done. We then proceed to tell ourselves off for not having achieved those things and forget to congratulate ourselves for the things we have achieved. Well there is a trick that you can use called "Action Planning" and this was kindly taught to me by the "Expert Patient Program" and is a new way of gettting things done but also not feeling like a failure. You can access this course in Cornwall by clicking on the link above or by googling Expert Patient Programme Cornwall. How to Action Plan. Begin by deciding on something that you would like to do, with emphasis on the YOU. eg. I would like to build my fitness and begin by walking 10 minutes per day and decide the following: 1. WHAT - Your WHAT is Walking 2. When - Your WHEN is in the Morning 3. How Much or How Long. eg. 10 minutes - Your HOW MUCH is 10 minutes 4. How often eg. 10 Minutes Your HOW OFTEN is three times a week. And then work out what your confidence level of achieving your activity is, for example, try to choose something that is about a 7 out of 10 to do. This way you will pretty much be able to achieve your plan and congratulate yourself. You can do this for as many things as you like and eventually you will get into the habit of congratulating yourself for doing things that you can achieve rather than telling yourself off for what you haven't. Maybe your first Action Plan could be to do an Action plan ? Always choose something that is achievable, action specific, measurable in some way and something that you can probably achieve. If you change your plan slightly thats ok, if it turns out to be only 2 days out of 7 well thats a start. Continue on like this with tiny steps and you will make big changes. Good Luck and dont forget to report back on Sunshine and Showers how well you got on .. :)  Signs of an abusive relationship There are many signs of an abusive relationship. The most telling sign is fear of your partner. If you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around your partner—constantly watching what you say and do in order to avoid a blow-up—chances are your relationship is unhealthy and abusive. Other signs that you may be in an abusive relationship include a partner who belittles you or tries to control you, and feelings of self-loathing, helplessness, and desperation.
To determine whether your relationship is abusive, answer the questions below. The more “yes” answers, the more likely it is that you’re in an abusive relationship. SIGNS THAT YOU’RE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP Your Inner Thoughts and Feelings Your Partner’s Belittling Behavior Do you: feel afraid of your partner much of the time? Does your partner: humiliate or yell at you? avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner? criticize you and put you down? feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner? treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see? believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated? ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments? wonder if you’re the one who is crazy? blame you for their own abusive behavior? feel emotionally numb or helpless? see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person? Your Partner’s Violent Behavior or Threats Your Partner’s Controlling Behavior Does your partner: have a bad and unpredictable temper? Does your partner: act excessively jealous and possessive? hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you? control where you go or what you do? threaten to take your children away or harm them? keep you from seeing your friends or family? threaten to commit suicide if you leave? limit your access to money, the phone, or the car? force you to have sex? limit your access to money, the phone, or the car? destroy your belongings? constantly check up on you? For more help and information go here: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm  I have suffered at the hand of the sociopathic abusive man many times in my life and I re-read this today and thought id share. Its really something of a touchy subject and ive kept the wording exactly as it is in the document at Natural News .com but I think this may help some of our readers recognise some of the signs of an abusive relationship whether it be with a Man, a Woman, a Parent or a Sibling.
When we are in these relationships its hard to know what normal is when normal is "abuse" so this info may help someone recognise what isnt acceptable. How to spot a sociopath - 10 red flags that could save you from being swept under the influence of a charismatic Sociopath. Friday, June 08, 2012 by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger Editor of NaturalNews.com Tags: sociopaths, cults, influence (NaturalNews) One of the more offensive duties of being an investigative journalist is taking out the trash -- exposing liars, fraudsters, con artists and scammers for the people they truly are. Each time we investigate a sociopath, we find that they always have a little cult group following of spellbound worshippers who consider that particular sociopath to be a "guru" or "prophet." Sociopaths are masters at influence and deception. Very little of what they say actually checks out in terms of facts or reality, but they're extremely skillful at making the things they say sound believable, even if they're just making them up out of thin air. Here, I'm going to present quotes and videos of some legendary sociopaths who convinced everyday people to participate in mass suicides. And then I'm going to demonstrate how and why similar sociopaths are operating right now... today. Why cover this subject? I've seen a lot of people get hoodwinked, scammed or even harmed by sociopaths, and it bewilders me that people are so easily sucked into their destructive influence. I want to share with Natural News readers the warning signs of sociopaths so that you can spot them, avoid them, and save yourself the trouble of being unduly influenced by them. Much of this information is derived from the fascinating book, The Sociopath Next Door, which says that 4% of the population are sociopaths. The book is a fascinating read. 10 signs for spotting a sociopath #1) Sociopaths are charming. Sociopaths have high charisma and tend to attract a following just because people want to be around them. They have a "glow" about them that attracts people who typically seek guidance or direction. They often appear to be sexy or have a strong sexual attraction. Not all sexy people are sociopaths, obviously, but watch out for over-the-top sexual appetites and weird fetishes. #2) Sociopaths are more spontaneous and intense than other people. They tend to do bizarre, sometimes erratic things that most regular people wouldn't do. They are unbound by normal social contracts. Their behaviour often seems irrational or extremely risky. #3) Sociopaths are incapable of feeling shame, guilt or remorse. Their brains simply lack the circuitry to process such emotions. This allows them to betray people, threaten people or harm people without giving it a second thought. They pursue any action that serves their own self interest even if it seriously harms others. This is why you will find many very "successful" sociopaths in high levels of government, in any nation. #4) Sociopaths invent outrageous lies about their experiences. They wildly exaggerate things to the point of absurdity, but when they describe it to you in a storytelling format, for some reason it sounds believable at the time. #5) Sociopaths seek to dominate others and "win" at all costs. They hate to lose any argument or fight and will viciously defend their web of lies, even to the point of logical absurdity. #6) Sociopaths tend to be highly intelligent, but they use their brainpower to deceive others rather than empower them. Their high IQs often makes them dangerous. This is why many of the best-known serial killers who successfully evaded law enforcement were sociopaths. #7) Sociopaths are incapable of love and are entirely self-serving. They may feign love or compassion in order to get what they want, but they don't actually FEEL love in the way that you or I do. #8) Sociopaths speak poetically. They are master wordsmiths, able to deliver a running "stream of consciousness" monologue that is both intriguing and hypnotic. They are expert storytellers and even poets. As a great example of this in action, watch this interview of Charles Manson on YouTube. #9) Sociopaths never apologize. They are never wrong. They never feel guilt. They can never apologize. Even if shown proof that they were wrong, they will refuse to apologize and instead go on the attack. #10) Sociopaths are delusional and literally believe that what they say becomes truth merely because they say it! Charles Manson, the sociopathic murderer, is famous for saying, "I've never killed anyone! I don't need to kill anyone! I THINK it! I have it HERE! (Pointing to his temple.) I don't need to live in this physical realm..." How to dispel illusion and get to the truth Sociopaths are masters at weaving elaborate fictional explanations to justify their actions. When caught red-handed, they respond with anger and threats, then weave new fabrications to explain away whatever they were caught doing. A sociopath caught red-handed with a suitcase full of cash he just stole, for example, might declare he had actually rescued the money from being stolen by someone else, and that he was attempting to find its rightful owner. He's the hero, see? And yet, in reality, he will simply pocket the money and keep it. If you question him about the money, he will attack you for questioning his honesty. Sociopaths are masters are presenting themselves as heroes with high morals and philosophy, yet underneath it they are the true criminal minds in society who steal, undermine, deceive, and often incite emotional chaos among entire communities. They are masters at turning one group of people against another group while proclaiming themselves to be the one true savior. Wherever they go, they create strife, argument and hatred, yet they utterly fail to see their own role in creating it. They are delusional at so many levels that their brains defy logical reasoning. You cannot reason with a sociopath. Attempting to do so only wastes your time and annoys the sociopath. Tip for exposing sociopaths: Start fact-checking something they claim One simple method for dispelling sociopathic delusion is to start fact checking their claims. Do any of their claims actually check out? If you start digging, you will usually find a pattern of frequent inconsistencies. Confront the suspected sociopath with an inconsistency and see what happens: Most sociopaths will become angry or aggressive when their integrity is questioned, whereas a sane person would simply be happy to help clear up any misinformation or misunderstanding. Beware of fact-checking the sociopath by asking other people under his or her influence. A sociopath will usually have a small group of cult-like followers who not only believe their fictional tales, but who actually internalize those fictions to the point where they rewrite their own memories to be consistent with them. If a guru-style sociopath talks about his "levitation sessions" over and over again, some of his believers will sooner or later start to form false memories in which they imagine seeing him levitate off the floor. So if you ask those people, "Did you actually ever see this person levitate?" They will enthusiastically say, "Yes!" Because in their own minds, that illusion has become something indistinguishable from a vivid memory. Much the same thing is true with sociopathic politicians. If a particularly charismatic politician claims he has "created millions of jobs" even though his economic policies have actually destroyed jobs and caused widespread unemployment, his cult-like followers will repeat his lie and publicly proclaim how many jobs that person has created. That's why fact-checking a sociopath requires evidence from outside his circle of influence. Does anything he say actually check out in the real world, outside his sphere of direct control? If not, you've probably spotted a sociopath. Sociopaths never answer facts; they always attack the messenger Another very valuable red flag to recognize when trying to spot a sociopath is to see how they deal with attacks on their own integrity. If a sociopath is presented with a collection of facts, documents and evidence showing that he lied or deceived, he will refuse to address the evidence and, instead, attack the messenger! If you really try to nail a sociopath down to answering a documented allegation, they will quickly turn on you, denounce you, and declare that you too are secretly plotting against them. Anyone who does not fall for the brainwashing of the sociopath is sooner or later kicked out of the circle and then wildly disparaged by the remaining members of the cult group. Inventing bizarre tales One of the easiest signs to spot is how sociopaths exaggerate things to an irrational absurdity. In the sociopath's world, every explanation is more intense and more heroic-sounding than the way it really went down. Where a normal person might say, "I vomited last night," a sociopath would say, "I vomited up a 27-foot tapeworm!" And a truly psychotic sociopath might even add details such as, "And then the tapeworm climbed up the wall and jumped on me and tried to strangle me!" You might laugh at such an explanation, but I know lots of similar examples that have been believed by irrational cult followers. In fact, this example was patterned off of a real live person who had attracted quite a cult following in a particularly odd, fringe corner of dietary fads. (He also teaches his cult followers to eat rotten, putrefied meat as a form of medicine.) Every story the sociopath weaves, often on the spur of the moment, is impossible to either confirm or deny. No one can prove him wrong, since they weren't there, so he can spin whatever details into the story he wants. "After eating this, I had a three-hour ejaculation!" Or, "The Dalai Lama wanted to anoint me as a spiritual leader, but I declined, telling him that I only needed faith, not any official recognition." How can anyone disprove such a claim? They can't. So the sociopaths relies on these un-provable, unsubstantiated claims to build up a false aura of authority, spirituality or knowledge. This creeps up on followers like a serpent, slithering into their brains and taking hold of their belief systems before they realize what has happened. As a survivor of the Jim Jones "Jonestown" mass suicide says in a PBS documentary video (see link below), "Everything was plausible [at the time], except in retrospect the whole thing seems bizarre." That's how sociopaths operate. As they're speaking, they capture your imagination and sound reasonable, even authoritative. But in the clear light of day, what they are actually saying is absurd... even dangerous. But no matter what fictions are presented by the sociopath, they always present him in the light of a hero -- sometimes even a saint -- who sacrifices his life for the good of others. He often talks of "healing" or "detoxification" or being "cleansed." When he is exposed by truth-tellers, he merely accuses the truth-tellers of being secret undercover agents. When he is accused of sexual assault by one of his own followers (a common occurrence in these circles), he denounces her as an enemy or a spy. The ultimate destination of a sociopath is to destroy himself and take as many willing victims with him as possible. This is the Jim Jones scenario: Drink the Kool-Aid laced with poison, and thereby prove your worth to your entire cult group. A common theme of poison, sainthood, redemption Interestingly, many sociopaths do indeed center their actions around a bizarre food or drink theme, often demanding their members eat or drink poisonous or highly offensive substances that no rational person would otherwise consume. The Heaven's Gate cult, for example, was led by a classic sociopath named Marshall Applewhite. He managed to convince 38 followers to kill themselves by eating applesauce laced with phenobarbital. Watch the fascinating video of Applewhite here and ask yourself: Would you follow this man to your own grave? (Other people did!) Notice how Applewhite speaks with authority, clarity and some level of charisma? Notice the intensity of his eyes? This is another common trait among sociopaths (including Manson, above). Remember, this man gained such influence over his followers that they voluntarily killed themselves in order to maintain his approval! As Wikipedia explains: On March 19–20, 1997, Marshall Applewhite taped himself speaking of mass suicide and asserted "it was the only way to evacuate this Earth." The Heaven's Gate group was against suicide but they believed they had no choice but to leave Earth as quickly as possible. After claiming that a space craft was trailing the comet Hale-Bopp, Applewhite convinced 38 followers to commit suicide so that their souls could board the supposed craft. Applewhite believed that after their deaths, a UFO would take their souls to another "level of existence above human," which Applewhite described as being both physical and spiritual. This and other UFO-related beliefs held by the group have led some observers to characterize the group as a type of UFO religion. In October 1996, the group purchased alien abduction insurance to cover up to 50 members at a cost of $10,000. The cult rented a 9,200-sq.-ft. mansion, located at 18241 Colina Norte (later changed to Paseo Victoria), in a gated community of upscale homes in the San Diego-area community of Rancho Santa Fe, California from Sam Koutchesfahani, paying $7,000 per month in cash. The thirty-eight Heaven's Gate members, plus group leader Applewhite, were found dead in the home on March 26, 1997. In the heat of the California spring, many of the bodies had begun to decompose by the time they were discovered. The corpses underwent autopsies, where cyanide and arsenic were found. The bodies were later cremated. The suicide was accomplished by ingestion of phenobarbital mixed with applesauce or pudding, washed down with vodka. Additionally, plastic bags were secured around their heads after ingesting the mix to induce asphyxiation. Authorities found the dead lying neatly in their own bunk beds, faces and torsos covered by a square, purple cloth. Each member carried a five-dollar bill and three quarters in their pockets. All 39 were dressed in identical black shirts and sweat pants, brand new black-and-white Nike Decades athletic shoes, and armband patches reading "Heaven's Gate Away Team" (one of many instances of the group's use of the Star Trek fictional universe's nomenclature). The adherents, between the ages of 26 and 72, are believed to have died in three groups over three successive days, with remaining participants cleaning up after each prior group's death. This episode speaks directly to the mind-altering power of sociopaths. Their delusions can be so convincing that followers will even kill themselves in order to stay in alignment with the expectations of the group. I know of a fringe health sociopath operating right now who has killed several of his own followers, but of course he always blames them for their own deaths. It's never his fault, you see. Sadly, even when one sociopath kills himself (and takes a few of his followers with him), there is always another sociopath waiting to take his place, seeking power, influence, and sometimes fame. It is common for sociopaths to strongly desire to be on television shows or to desperately seek out opportunities for short-term fame, often from engaging in bizarre acts or staging strange events. This is one of the ways in which they recruit followers to join their cult. Jim Jones and drinking the Kool-Aid The most horrifying master of sociopathic delusion was, of course, Jim Jones who convinced 900+ people to kill themselves by drinking poisoned Kool-Aid. And people loved him for it! They felt inspired, excited, healed and guided. Jim Jones was their savior, their prophet. They believed his every word, and they paid for their foolish belief with their lives. As Jim Jones proved, people can be easily swept up into an irrational belief in a guru or prophet who quite literally plans to murder them. This is the other dominant factor we see in dangerous sociopaths: An odd obsession with dead things, rotting things, putrid things... things that would cause a normal, mentally balanced person to shrink away in horror. Jim Jones, for example, was fascinated with death and would reportedly murder small animals and then hold funerals for them. Jones was a master at invoking spiritual concepts and presenting himself as spiritually evolved. This is another common theme among sociopaths, and you see it among Applewhite, Manson, Jones and even present-day sociopaths who are operating in America right now. Historically, perhaps the best example of a delusional sociopath was none other than Adolf Hitler. He showed all the classic signs: A brilliant orator, a congenital liar, a complete lack of compassion for others, a dominant, aggressive personality, and the invoking of spirituality to justify his actions. The Nazi Swastika symbol, in fact, is a derivation of the Flower of Life symbol derived from sacred geometry. See video explanation here. The modern sociopath: A threat to us all Sociopaths aren't just a relic of history; I see their kind operating today, in 2012. A surprising number of people continue to fall for the delusional (but convincing) web of lies spun by wordsmithing sociopaths who may operate in almost any area of society: Science and physics, New Age circles, fringe health, self improvement and even "pop" spiritual development. People from all walks of life allow themselves to be fooled by these sociopaths, buying into their false narratives, toxic products and destructive behavioural patterns, all driven into their heads through a complex web of social engineering, linguistics and emotional influence. Most people are completely unaware they have been mesmerized into these cult groups, just like the Jonestown people were completely unaware... or the Heaven's Gate crowd. There are people today, right now, who are zealous members of fringe cults that advocate drinking toxic metals dissolved in sulfuric acid, eating rotten meat festering with deadly bacteria, playing with poisonous snakes or even dehydrating yourself in a sweat lodge to the point where you suffer hallucinations that are then interpreted as "spiritual guidance." These cults are operating right here in America, and they are led by sociopaths who follow in the footsteps of monsters like Jim Jones and Marshall Applewhite. Some of today's cult followers will pay for their misplaced faith with their lives. Others will eventually come to their senses and wonder how they could have been so completely blinded by a false prophet. Seven rules for personal empowerment (without joining a cult) The most shocking realization to take home from all this is that people who live under the spell of a sociopath almost never realize it until after the spell has been broken. Just as the worshippers of Jim Jones believed his organization to be based in love, life and light, people today who worship sociopathic, charismatic leaders usually have no idea they have already surrendered their will to someone who does not have their best interests at heart. This is why, here at Natural News, I have always taught people the following authentic principles of responsibility and power: #1) Think for yourself. Be sceptical of everything. Most people, corporations, governments and institutions are lying to you. There is much good in the world, but there is far more selfishness and greed which is falsely presented as that which is good. #2) Follow your inner truth, not some external guru. Any guru who demands your obedience is a false prophet. A real teacher is one who empowers you and sets you free to explore your life experience with complete freedom tempered by a code of morals and personal responsibility. #3) Serve in the protection of life, with or without a church or spiritual group. You can protect life every day in your own garden. Resist the seduction of profit and power that comes from serving darkness (i.e. working for Big Pharma or pesticide companies). Seek to protect life, which is sacred and precious. #4) Value all living things, including animals and plants. You are their shepherd. Protect the diversity of life and the integrity of the continuation of life. (For example, resist GMO and plant only non-hybrid seeds.) #5) Live an authentic life. Practice what you teach. Walk your talk. Do not speak with one face and then secretly act out another. Spiritual strength comes from spiritual authenticity, and even if the world isn't aware of what you do when no one is looking, God and the universe most certainly are. Karma counts. #6) Defend the innocent. Stand your ground against bullies. Resist tyranny. Promote freedom, liberty and justice. Help others when you can, and seek to empower others with the skills and knowledge they can use to support themselves rather than creating dependency. #7) Tell the truth. It is powerful... perhaps the most powerful thing in the universe. The truth unfailingly outshines lies and deceptions. And even when the people around you may not see the truth, the greater universe does. By telling the truth, you empower yourself in all areas of your life, and you bring yourself closer to true spiritual understanding. Learn more by NOT joining my cult My name is Mike Adams, the editor of NaturalNews.com. I do not have a cult to offer you, but I do have a free email newsletter (see below) that you can subscribe to without joining a cult. As an explorer of the world around us, I investigate and write about psychology, health freedom, science, spirituality, history, economics and more. You probably won't agree with everything I write, and if you did, that would be a failure on my part to get you thinking, wouldn't it? I'm an advocate of the Socratic method to finding knowledge: Ask intelligent questions and let the student find their own way... and their own wisdom. Learn more: http://www.naturalnews  Ive always been honest in my posts, some are personal to me and some are inspired by other people but these blogs are always from the heart to try to help and better understand depression or some kind of mental illness.
Today I realised that something profoundly affected me on the other day and it tapped right into my deepest insecurities based on past experiences. Something that has been chip chipping away that I can choose to keep let chip chipping away at me or I can let it go and think with compassion for the person who made me doubt myself again. Even though I handled it as any professional would it hit buttons and set off triggers which go way back into when I was in one abusive relationship after another because I was depressed and the lower I felt the more abuse I accepted without questioning its validity. I now have the choice 1. to ask for help, 2. challenge this thinking, or 3. sit with the uncomfortable feelings, accept them and wait for them to dissipate, I find that by sitting with them and familiarizing oneself with where they come from and putting them in some kind of order is the way to put them in the right place, put a lid on it and lock it away in the nasty box. By writing this blog I am reinforcing this process and by writing to you it is helping me. But one thing I worked out today is my god how hard it is to pick up the phone and ask for help. So I wondered WHY ? And I found this on WikiHow and I thought id share it as some very useful information for anyone struggling to ask for help. How to Stop Thinking that Accepting Help is a Sign of Weakness Edited by CBK, IngeborgK, Flickety, Eric and 14 others While it may sound simple enough, accepting help is something that is extremely challenging for all of us at one time or another. It can be especially hard for those of us that believe that seeking help undermines our independence and our ability to cope. However the truth is that by refusing to accept help we ignore the fact that we are social beings who need to co-operate with one another in order to ensure that we thrive. Seeing taking help from others as a weakness is often a very ingrained pattern of thinking and may be hard to overcome. However there are ways of changing how you think. The following suggestions may help you overcome seeing accepting help as a sign of weakness and allow you to develop a healthier sense of interdependence with those around you. 1 Consider exactly why you think that asking for help is a sign of weakness. There are many possible reasons that might be influencing your reluctance to seek help from others, and it is important to try and narrow down exactly what reasons apply for you. Without developing insight and understanding why you believe as you do it will be impossible to make any changes. Some of the following reasons might be applicable to you, singly or in combination but have an open mind and consider other possible reasons:
2. Work through how not wanting to ever seek help is reinforced by unrealistic ideals and wishful thinking. Sometimes there are conflicting or reinforcing societal ideals that can make it seem a weakness to seek help. If you understand that these "ideals" are but one among many approaches to living, you might be better placed to ease off the obsession with seeing needing help as a weakness. For example:
3. Consider whether your bias to not ask for or seek help has any benefit to yourself and others. By keeping yourself or making yourself aloof from other human beings, you are building an invisible barrier around yourself that wards off the potential for new relationships and friendships. You might feel a sense of safety but you are missing out on learning about reciprocal give and take, where you not only take help but also provide help in return, all within a compassionate cycle of love, care, and generosity for all.
4 Look to reality instead of relying on wishful thinking. If you can overcome the underlying negative reasons as to why you won't seek help, coupled with having a better understanding of your unrealistic thought patterns, it is possible to start finding pathways to letting others help you. Some of the things you might consider doing include: Learn to accept offers of help. Recognise that people are acting in good faith in general. If another person is being kind in offering help, accepting it at face value is the first step. The next time the thought crosses your mind that you could do with help sorting out a problem, carrying a heavy box, making dinner, working out a work dilemma, etc., act on it. Decide on who you will ask, phrase the request in your head, and go and ask for help. Don't seek to ask for help from just anybody. Choose wisely and carefully – avoid people who make you feel a lesser person in any way, and even with those you do trust, take it slowly. Find people you really trust to try out asking for help first. This will allow you to open up bit by bit, and not be exposed to someone who might not do the right thing by you, or who might make you feel "weak" for asking. 5. Expect some paradoxes. In opening yourself up to others by asking for help, a couple of key paradoxes will confront you. Rather than seeing this as a challenge, look for solutions to your concern about being seen as too weak: Abating your fear of rejection: In fearing rejection, you open yourself up to allowing others to be the judge of your worth. This is needier by far than asking for tangible help! Don't let your self-view be coloured by how you think others might or might not choose to accept you. Strength: In order to seek help, you need to be strong enough to accept that you have weaknesses (remember, no-one is perfect!), and you need to be stronger still to accept help. While burying problems may seem strong, it is the same as running and hiding. Giving: In order to get, you need to give. If you keep cutting yourself off from opening up to others, you risk not sharing your skills, talents, and abilities with others in need of help. In giving of yourself (your time, your listening ear, your love, your care, etc.), you are helping another to learn more about you, to be able to care for you, and to feel that you reciprocate the attention that they bestow upon you. In helping another person, you cease to focus on yourself. And when you cease to focus on yourself, it is far easier to accept support back from the other. Trust: In order to receive help, you need to trust the other person and to trust that you're worthy of help (self-respect). This might be the hardest part but it is absolutely vital. Wholesome, accepting, self-assured trust is capable of absorbing rejection, attracting genuine help, and will easily detect the occasional exploitative person. (In the case of meeting an exploitative person, remember that it is about their karma, not your worth.) 6. Beware the illusion that all problems are easy or that problems needing solving only apply to some people. It can be all too easy to dismiss the worth or depth of your own problems, and thereby seek to apologise for your need for help. There is no hierarchy of problems, or scale of pain. A problem is a problem, whatever its ease or difficulty – the litmus test is how much it is impacting you negatively, preventing you from moving forward. Belittling your problem as not worthy of being solved only serves to make it even more challenging to cope with. 7. Prioritise your problems. It might help you to develop a system whereby you prioritise your wish to seek help from other people. If it is a problem you feel you can fix and actually do so effectively on your own, then do it. If it's one where you cannot see a way you can deal with it alone, then talk to someone, be it a friend or trusty confidante about how to fix it on your own, or about who to ask for assistance. Let go of the problems that no one can fix. There lies the greatest strength of all as there is a big difference between "burying" problems in comparison to accepting, forgiving and letting them go. If you need help to do that, really don't be afraid to ask for it. And remember,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Standing_on_the_shoulders_of_giants  Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '99: Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you can imagine. Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blind side you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing every day that scares you. Sing. Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss. Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself. Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements. Stretch. Don't feel guilty if you don't know what to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't know. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone. Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's. Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own. Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room. Read the directions, even if you don't follow them. Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And then you do you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out. Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look like 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more that it's worth. But trust me on the sunscreen. Song by Baz Luhramm  I have suffered a phobia around answering the phone since I was a child due to always seeing my Mum crying on it when my Nan used to call. This was then reinforced later on when I was abused and bullied via the internet and now I find it difficult, but not impossible, and I am getting better with practice at making calls and answering the phone. Here is some more info from the Royal College of Psychiatrists.
______________________________________________________________________________ Anxiety, Panic and Phobias Introduction Anxiety is a feeling we all get in a situation that is threatening or difficult. The anxiety stops when you get used to the situation, when the situation changes, or if you just leave. But if you feel anxious all the time, or for no obvious reason, it can make life difficult. This leaflet deals with three particular kinds of anxiety:
What is anxiety? Anxiety feels like fear. When it's there a lot of the time, caused by a problem in our life that can't be solved, like money difficulties, we call it worry. If is a sudden reaction to a threat, like looking over a cliff or being confronted by an angry dog, we call it fear. Although worry, fear and anxiety are unpleasant, they can all be helpful:
Isn't anxiety just 'stress'? In English, 'stress' can mean two different things:
Isn't anxiety/stress bad for you? Some anxiety is good for you. It keeps you alert and can help you to perform well. But only some. If it gets too intense, or goes on for too long, it can make you feel bad and interfere with your life. It can make you depressed and damage your physical health. What does anxiety feel like? In the mind In the body
Anxiety seems to take three main forms, but they overlap and most people will probably experience more than one type.
Common phobias include:
What causes these kinds of anxiety?
It can also happen:
Getting help Anxiety is very common and many of us overcome it or cope with it without professional help. However, if it is severe or goes on for a long time, anxiety can affect your physical health, and stop you doing the things you want to do. The good news is that there are ways to help yourself. Helping yourself
Getting help If you have an anxiety problem which just won't go away, you may not ask for help because you worry that people might think that you are "mad". They won't. It's a common problems and it's much better to get help rather than suffer in silence.
If this is not enough, there are several different kinds of professionals who may be able to help - the GP, psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker, nurse or counsellor. Psychotherapists may or may not be medically qualified.
Beta-blockers in low doses can sometimes control the physical shaking of anxiety. They can be taken shortly before meeting people or before speaking in public, or having to perform.
Which treatments work best? The treatments that seem to work for the longest time are, in descending order
Many children are scared of the dark or of imaginary monsters. These fears usually disappear as the child grows older, but they do not usually spoil the child's life or interfere with their development. Most will feel anxious about important events like their first day at school. Once it is over, the child stops being frightened and is able to get on and enjoy the new situation. Teenagers often feel anxious. They tend to be worried about how they look, what other people think of them, how they get on with people in general, but especially about forming close relationships. These worries can usually be helped by talking about them. However, if they are too strong, other people may notice that they are doing badly at school, behaving differently, or feeling physically unwell. If a child or teenager feels so anxious or fearful that it is spoiling their life, it's a good thing to ask your GP for advice. Self-help organisations Anxiety UK: Helpline: 08444 775 774. Charity formed 30 years ago by a sufferer of agoraphobia for those affected by anxiety disorders. British Association for Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapies (BABCP) Has a UK register of accredited therapists. No Panic: Helpline: 0800 138 8889. National Organisation for Phobias , Anxiety, Neurosis, Information and Care. Support for sufferers of Panic Attacks, Phobias, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Generalised Anxiety Disorder and Tranquilliser Withdrawal. Further reading Reading Well Books on Prescription helps you manage your well-being using self-help reading. The scheme is endorsed by health professionals, including the Royal College of Psychiatrists, and is supported by public libraries.
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