My reply was "then you would bring your levels down and you would cope, one day at a time, step by step"
At the time I kind of knew what I meant but didn't know how to explain it, now that I have done a lot more work around thought process I do know what I mean and this is it.
If we put all our energies into something on the outside of ourselves when it changes or goes "off plan" then we become lost, without that thing that we put our life into we forget our own lives and without our own lives we cease to live.
Without life in ourselves we wonder why we are here ? Wonder what is the point and what we have to live for ?
Therefore it is so important to 1. attend to our own human needs and 2. If we have put our faith in something out of our control and it goes "off plan" we need to "bring our levels down".
By levels I mean our expectations. We may have to completely strip ourselves right back to basics to just eating, sleeping, and breathing before we can build ourselves back up again. But by doing the very basic levels of life we can begin to put those levels in as footholds onto the next level, kind of like climbing steps, after a devastating life event or something that goes "off plan" we fall right down to the first one but by bringing our levels down we are able to build them back up again.
It doesn't matter how slowly or how long we ponder on each step but as long as we are going forwards, or upwards thats all that counts. Each tiny step forward is enough to make a giant leap eventually and we will get there.
So if life hands you some rough cards "bring your levels down" start again from the bottom and work up.
Just make sure you keep moving ! If you slip a step, don't worry just means you need to pay more attention to the step your on before moving to the next one, thats all !!
By the way, all this stuff is my take on things and sometimes it may not come out right.
I just hope that it makes sense to someone and if one small p of what I say and do helps someone feel better then that's good enough for me !